to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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