I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i dont even know how to be here
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
