I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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