Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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