I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
