too bad you live with your parents still
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize