I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
