I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
