wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
