My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
