Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
