we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
