I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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