It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
