Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
