It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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