Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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