Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
