bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
