Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
