Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
