Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
