Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
