Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
