I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
