Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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