It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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