You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
