I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
