If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize