Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
