I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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