Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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