Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
