I love black thongs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize