M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
