HIV tests are more positive than that guy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
