i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
