are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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