508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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