so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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