either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
