I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
