just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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