belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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