Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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