I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
