we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
