life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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