He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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