I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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