I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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