No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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