I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
