You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize