On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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