I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
