It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize