But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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