Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
is it fun? or sober?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
