How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
