I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
