it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
