I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize