If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
last night I used snow as a chaser
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize