Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
