i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
