she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
