Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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