Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
