HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
