I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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