so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
