I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
