somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
