There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
