I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
