redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
